I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
