It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
