I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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