and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
