Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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