Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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