yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
