You're my little dorito
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
