Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
bring money and cleavage
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
