I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
