Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
