You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
