Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
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He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
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I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
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