I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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