pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I didn't notice because vodka
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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