no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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