i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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