she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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