Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
