i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
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I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm bleeding and have questions
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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