I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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