You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
