Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
