Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
