Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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