she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
