Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
high people should be assigned attendants
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
