i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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