Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
