Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
