found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
