You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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