now i know why i became what i already was.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
