he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
