i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just tell him i said nine months
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
