your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
