I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
