I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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