yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
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Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
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Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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