Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
