remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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