Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
