im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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