My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
