real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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