would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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