Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
