I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
