there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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