nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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