You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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