that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize