And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
