How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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