chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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