The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
