Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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