Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
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I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
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chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
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