I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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