she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
