we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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