Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
