Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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