i jhust puked up my retainher.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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