Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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