Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We have started to decorate penises.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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